101 Uses For A Stone Mystique
by Red Witch
Summary: How do the Brotherhood carry on when their former leader is turned to stone? Quite well actually. Takes place during Impact.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has been smashed to pieces. Just like Mystique. Okay who was actually shocked that Rogue would push her over a cliff? I was so sure that she would use a mallet or something. Well here are a few outtakes from 'Impact' that should have made it to the episode. **

**101 Uses for a Stone Mystique**

"Hey Lance!" Todd called out. "Guess what? We found you a new girlfriend!" 

"Go away Toad!" Lance lay there on his bed. "I'm not in the mood."

"I'm serious!" Todd shouted. "You gotta come out and see her! She's got a real hard body!"

"Toad for the last time…" Lance opened the door and came face to face with Mystique. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" He fell backwards.

"See I told you!" Todd laughed. Fred and Pietro were laughing as well.

"Oh man you should have seen your face!" Fred laughed. 

"It was priceless," Pietro held his gut. "Priceless!" 

"What is that?" Lance gasped. 

"It's Mystique," Pietro grinned. "What's left of her anyway. Xavier dropped her off just a few minutes ago."

"Yeah she really did turn to stone," Fred gently rapped on her head. "See hello! I hear an echo! She really does have an empty head!" 

"Why would he give us something like that?" Lance blinked. 

"Probably figured the Brotherhood would take anything," Fred shrugged. "Which is really not very nice just because we don't live in a fancy mansion or nothin'."

"We do take anything," Todd said. "In fact we have taken anything in the past. Heck we still got those old car parts rotting away in the basement."

"I know but it was wrong of him to assume it anyway," Fred told him. 

"Nah it had nothin' to do with that Freddy. He said something about it was really bothering Rogue and he didn't want Mystique smashed up into the carpet," Todd shrugged. "Not that I blame her." 

"You're right," Lance grinned. "Who cares if we smash her!"

"No don't do that!" Todd stepped in front of Mystique. 

"Yeah think of all the fun we can have with her!" Pietro grinned. 

"Like what?" Lance looked at them. 

"We made a list!" Todd grinned. "Remember when we were bored a way's back and she was really ticked off at us and we were hiding and then we got to talking what we would do if somehow Mystique was turned to stone?" 

"See Lance wishes do come true," Fred held up a piece of paper. "I got the list!" 

"Oh brother…" Lance rolled his eyes. 

"See we can use her for a coat rack, an art deco piece to impress any visitors," Todd pointed. "Not that we get any but if we really wanted to we could impress them. She could be a scarecrow, a doorstop…and you gotta admit she would look perfect with my garden gnome collection!"

"Hey we could even have a wedding," Pietro remarked. "She could marry one of your gnomes!"

"Great idea Pietro!" Todd grinned. "There's one of them that I call Mr. Grumpy. He's been looking pretty lonely lately." 

"I'm really looking forward to number 31," Fred pointed. "Decorating her for Christmas!" 

"Good idea, maybe you'll get lucky and Santa will bring you a new brain," Lance groaned. 

************************************************************************

Later that day…

"Oh Mystie! You look so divine!" Todd put a large purple hat on her head. He had also put on a fashionable coat on her. "Now you'll be the belle of the ball! Let's dance!" 

"Work it baby! Work it!" Fred clicked the camera. "That's it baby! That's the money shot!" 

"This is weirder than the wake," Wanda grumbled as she and Pietro watched from the other room. 

"I still say you should have put her in that pink outfit," Fred frowned. 

"Hey check the schedule here!" Todd pointed to a piece of paper on a desk. "See! I have her until 3 O'clock! So I can dress her any way I want!" 

"They're playing with it like it's some kind of giant Barbie doll," Wanda grumbled.

"You gotta understand sis," Pietro told her. "Mystique wasn't exactly the nicest person in the world to work for. She really treated us like garbage. Especially Toad and Blob. So let them have a little payback. And speaking of payback…" He grinned. "I just have the greatest idea for the most awesome prank!"

"You're going to hide her in a closet where Lance will find her again aren't you?" Wanda sighed. 

"No actually I'm going to hide her in the food cupboard!" Pietro grinned. "Then tonight I'm going to hide her in the shower, then I'm gonna hide her in Lance's bed…" 

"I should really learn to find a hiding place of my own…" Wanda sighed.

************************************************************************

"Okay why the heck would the Blue Furred Freak want Mystique anyway?" Lance asked. "She wasn't exactly the most maternal person in the world." They were walking in the back of the Institute later that night. 

"She was still Kurt's mother," Wanda said. "I had to let him take her!" 

"Still should have asked us first yo," Todd said. 

"The only reason you guys want her back is so you can use her to freak me out again!" Lance snapped. 

"Hey she's still Brotherhood!" Todd remarked. "No matter what she did she belongs with us!"

"Yeah if anybody deserves to get some payback is us!" Fred remarked. 

"Maybe we can work out some kind of visitation schedule or something?" Pietro asked. "What's that?" 

They saw Rogue storm past them. "Hey Rogue what's going on?" Pietro asked. 

"What are you doing here?" She snapped.

"We came for Mystique," Lance said. 

"You're too late," Rogue stormed away. "But you're welcome to take what's left of her!" 

"What'd she mean by that?" Todd scratched his head. 

"Hey there's Agatha," Wanda pointed. She walked up to her. "What happened?" 

"I'm afraid the attempt to return Mystique to human form did not go as planned," Agatha sighed. She pointed down the cliff. 

They looked at the ledge. "Oh dear," Fred gulped. "This is not good."

"Well at least we didn't break it," Todd remarked. He used his powers to jump and climb down to a distraught Kurt. "Uh hey Elf, what's happening? Anything wrong?" 

"My sister just pushed my mother off a cliff and shattered her to pieces!" Kurt snapped. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?" 

"Well…" Todd picked up a piece. "Maybe you could glue her back together or something? You know think of it like a giant jigsaw puzzle?" He tried to put a few pieces together. Kurt glared at him. "Or not. Sorry man. Well…look at the bright side. You can always stick what's left of her to the wall in your room. It'd make a great mosaic!" 

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Kurt shouted as he leapt at Todd. 

"Okay! Okay!" Todd hopped away back up. "Uh I think Fuzzy needs to grieve some more. Where'd Agatha go?"

"She disappeared," Wanda sighed. "She does that a lot. What happened?"

"Rogue went nuts and pushed her off the cliff," Todd said. They could hear Kurt screaming below. "Uh Fuzzy's a bit depressed over the whole thing."

"Well if she's nothing but pebbles now there's no reason to hang around here," Pietro shrugged. They turned and started to leave. 

"Something tells me that things in the X-Mansion are going to be a bit frosty for a while," Todd gulped. 

"Yeah we'd better get out of here before the rest of the X-Geeks come back," Lance sighed. "Man and I thought we had problems with Pietro. But living with Rogue and Kurt for the next few days are going to be ten times worse!" 

"If it's possible," Wanda said. 

"Hey!" Pietro snapped.

"TOAD!" Kurt teleported to them. "GIVE IT BACK!" 

"Give what back?" Todd blinked. 

"You know what you took!" Kurt growled. "Give me the finger!"

"I'd love to," Lance grinned.

"No! He took Mystique's finger!" Kurt snapped. "Give it back!" 

"Oh okay," Todd handed a small stone finger back. "Hey you can't blame me for wanting a souvenir!" 

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Kurt tackled Todd and they started to fight.

"Well so ends another night with the X-Men," Lance sighed as they casually watched the fight. 

"Pietro I am so glad our family's normal," Wanda shook her head. "Lance why are you laughing?" 


End file.
